Holy Father,
Last night I wrote a rather broken and contrite post in which said basically what my greatest sin was. It wasn’t lust, it wasn’t greed. It was not loving God and my neighbor. Now, I know that trying to obey the Law to be righteous is impossible. But, if the greatest two commandments are loving God, and then loving my neighbor.. I’m not sure I do so well.
The Israelites that came out of Egypt, at least the adults, couldn’t enter God’s promises because of unbelief. So unbelief is a grave sin that can, if consistently practiced, can separate You from God forever. But the greatest sins are breaking those first two. In my defense, I am on mood stabilizers that keep my emotions pretty steadily neutral. But, are my actions, my words.. are they loving? Sometimes they are, and sometimes I am very selfish and stingy with my time especially. I want to waste it all doing things centered around on me.
I’m at a crossrsoads. I want to make comics and eventually tabletops, but I’m not sure how to go about marketing them, and.. really my art needs to improve. My writing is getting better, but I need to spend time every day drawing, inking, and coloring. So there’s that. I may never sell a comic, but I can at least invest in my talents, so when I return them to God on That Day, they won’t have been hidden and then dug up.